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Home Alone with Flying Monkeys

Since Benson’s 5 this year and more than old enough to sit through movies, I thought it might be time to introduce him to some classics (and possibly some alternate comedic themes to fart humour).  It’s Christmas, so how about Home Alone?!  I loved this movie as a teenager…my BFF and I would watch those fool robbers and laugh until we almost peed.  (It’s possible that a few Sunny Delight & Vodkas may have enhanced the comedy, but tipsy 17 year old = 5 year old…right?)

We snuggled down to watch and with no farting in the first 10 minutes, Benson started getting a little bored indeed.  There was mention of peeing the bed which elicited a chuckle and then he perked up at the “we slept in” piece.  That’s where the comedy ended.

“Uh, mom?  Why did his mom leave him home alone?  Where’s his mom?  Why did his family disappear?  Mom? His family is gone.  Why is he so happy?  He shouldn’t be jumping on the bed.  Mom!  WHERE. IS. HIS. MOM.  Just because you get mad you don’t leave kids home by theirselves. And how come he is drinking pop??”

Um.  “It’s funny!  Because he’s home alone, so he can do whatever he wants!  They left him because they were in a hurry.  But it’s just a movie!”

“Mom.  His family is on an airplane so that means they are going far far away.  What if he gets hungry.  Why did his mom leave him there?  Why did she forget him?  If I was home by myself I would be scared.  He is going to get so scared and his mom is far away.”

I admit it.  I chickened out and fast-forwarded to the slap-sticky last 30 minutes of the movie.  I didn’t want the child traumatized that every time he went to sleep after a tough day he might wake up Home Alone with a band of criminals to fight.

And frankly, watching Home Alone as a parent gave me the heebie jeebies too.  Yes, I’ve seen the movie countless times, but as I waited for Catherine O’Hara’s “KEVIN!” moment, I was on pins and needles.  As she desperately pushed through the airport my heart was racing too…her 7-year-old…is Home Alone!  So, maybe Home Alone is best left to the 10-year-olds (and immature 17-year-olds).

A few weeks later The Wizard of Oz was on.  Fantastic!  This one was a must…I’d seen this countless times and it was a childhood favourite!

I never found the monkeys frightening as a child…but as an adult: WTF?!!  Thank god for the fast forward button on the remote.  It looks like I’ll have to pre-screen all future movie experiences…back to Treehouse for now.

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Categories: Kids
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