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After doing more reading of blogs and blogging of blogs than actual blogging, I’m getting a little itchy to blog. I’m beginning to feel more positive about the future, and living content in the moment, as opposed to uber-planning the next 40 years. Every so often during the car hunt we would hit that bump of what car we’ll need when the first lease runs out (Bill says mini-van, I say, who knows?). But other than that I am not really thinking beyond my next weekend.

Of course me being…ME, I have to explore all these alternate futures. So I have imagined several different futures, and the one I am forcing myself to consider the most is having an only child in Benson. We’re so lucky to have this little chunk of perfection, so it’s not exactly a consolation prize. And he’s such a social butterfly, he’ll never be lonely.

But trying to imagine parenting a single-child family is like trying to put on my most favourite pre-baby outfit: It just doesn’t fit…and it’s just not me…or us.

It really came to light at Liam’s 1st birthday party. Last time I held a babe, Benson was not too keen with the situation. So I was giving Devon (7 mo) some cuddles. Benson immediately came over and said “Hi baby! shaliru bush flagyl baby!” while pointing and grinning at the baby. He told me a story about the baby and shared his opinion on the “niii (nice) baby”. All the while keeping a possessive hand on my shoulder, but still.

He was so sweet with Devon, that I allowed myself to go back and revisit my old plans for our life: Benson playing big brother to a few siblings…screaming and wrestling…but ultimately bonding with a niii baby, and growing up with a strong sense of family (and chaos).

So here’s to great test results, good genes, and healthy futures. I’m pretty sure it will be terrifying, but in the end, so worth it. And watch out for the Robbins boys.

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